Grief is a multifaceted response to loss. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. Wikipedia
The first person to study and then identify stages of grief was Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. These are the first 5stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Then following her study two more stages have been added: Shock and Guilt
<
Grief can come from many difference experiences, events, situations in our lives. And we all handle things differently but there is also a common thread. We naturally progress through certain stages as we deal with the situation in our own time.
<
We generally associate the word GRIEF with the death of someone and the breakup of a relationship. However, it can apply to many different situations. Some events are massive and some are small. And of course, those in the middle. None the less we will still process it in a similar fashion but reflective to the size of the event.
<
The size of the event can vary between people. Grief may not be a description most associate with kids moving out of home. Some of us handle it reasonably well and others not at all. Most feel like they have lost a piece of them (even if they have only moved to the next suburb) and how we deal with it can be very different.
<
Kids moving out of home is a natural step at some stage in their lives. But none the less, even if you are happy to see the back end of them it may need some adjusting. Surprisingly the feeling of abandonment may come up. They are leaving the nest and don’t need us anymore.
<
Anxiety may creep in as we aren’t there all the time to help them to be safe. Sadness as they aren’t around anymore. Guilt surprisingly may show its head as well –Have I prepared them enough to be out on their own. Did i do something to make them want to move out?
<
A new baby is a time of joy and many other emotions. Again grief is one you may not associate with this event. Especially if it’s the first child in the family. The grief may come in when the baby arrives. All of a sudden you have this little one depending on you, requiring and demanding your attention. Even though most of the bundles of joy are planned it is a big life change. The grief may appear because of a few different circumstances – you have been working full time in the lead up. Even though usually in a relationship, you were your own person, did what you wanted when you wanted, ate and drank what you wanted, slept when you wanted. These things change!! Even when there is the best laid plans and preparation our emotions take control. We reach a stage where we grieve for our old life which now appears to have been simpler.
<
As in all situations, the sooner we acknowledge what is happening and put things in place to help us move through these stages the better. Speak to a medical person, doctor, nurse, baby health nurse. Ask for referrals if you feel its need to speak to a councillor, psychiatrist. All these people can help to put a plan in place.
<
Recent Comments