For ten years I was taking a herbal tablet to help with early menopause. These tabs also helped with emotions due to the hormones and as a mild muscle relaxant. They worked brilliantly for the menopause.
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In hindsight, I can now see that within in a few months of me stop taking them my body ached. I felt everything. I held onto tension which turned into pain. Each pain has taken long periods of time to release.
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Over the past week or so I have realized, in my opinion, that my body had forgotten over the 10 years how to manage tension, pain and emotions. It had got use to the relaxed state. I did on occasion still feel muscle pain after a good work out, but it didn’t last long.
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For over 2 years now I have felt pain. I have acted appropriately with physios, massage, reflexology, remedial massage, Chiro’s, needling, Reiki, Yoga, meditation, kinesiology, Bowen and others.
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Over the past 2 weeks it has come to my realization, in my opinion, that it has been my body releasing what had been stored inside the muscles, tendons, cells etc for those 10 years.
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The emotions, the tension, the beliefs, the sadness, the changes in my life. Buried away. My way of coping with different events. Separation, divorce, my son finishing school then moving out of home. Selling my home and buying another. My daughter finishing school and moving out of home. Changing career and leaving the security of my job to run my business full time. My Dad passing away. Ceasing most of my business activities for 12 months to decide if I was going where I wanted to go.
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Over those years, so many emotions in a way suppressed, managed, sedated.
I said to someone today that I feel in a way it was like someone who takes strong pain killers to manage pain then stopping and feeling the full brunt of it.
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To add to the mix, in the later part of those years the beginning of my spiritual journey.
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To which I am very grateful it came into my life as it has helped my through many different phases. Hindsight helping to see some of those instances and some were very obvious at the time.
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So, I have finally reached a point of being grateful and awakened to the realization of this part of my journey rather than being “why me, what aren’t I doing right, what did I do wrong”.
And to continue seeking the appropriate help at the stage I am in, and for now its Chiro, Reiki, Yoga and Kinesiology.
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Recently, life and experiences where described to me as an onion, layer upon layer. We slowly peel back each layer to reveal and release.
Best wishes for your journey
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